This is my second to last Will and Testament.

So. I like food. I'd go as far as to say that I LOVE food. So I was conjuring up my worst-case-scenario spa guest, and I'd say it would be a chef. Worse still, a good chef. This would be compounded by a chef that knew the restaurants that I like, as then we'd have even more commonality to discuss specific dishes etc. The only thing worse would be someone who loved Borough Market, as then. I'd have someone to talk Comte and Monmouth with. So I was walking down for 10am McSlurry, and met a tall Australian guy. We got chatting over our delectable drinks, and about 2 hours later...he just moved back to Sydney after 5 years in London. Worked at the Capital Hotel, then the Fat Duck (and gave me their secret for keeping pop-rocks from popping during cooking), then decided to open own restaurant, so did a 6 month stint at Applebee's in Borough Market to familarise himself with local, Londonny ingredients, before opening his own place. Geee. Thanks God. Appreciate that little twist of fate.

We covered Roka, Hakkasan, Bacchus, Joel Robouchon (again - no google or spell-check!), Alain Ducasse, Heston, Gordon; le Gavroche and Waterside Inn versus molecular gastronomy, what's wrong with Garry Rhodes, Hestons flaming sorbet, and the delights of slow-cooked quails eggs (90 minutes). He makes fry-ups with duck eggs, and the bacon from the Ginger Pig. I'm typing this with my toes as I've eaten both of my hands.

How am I going to get through the next 3 days sans food with Guest From Hell? HOW the mighty fall. He's given me some cracking advice, cooking and restaurant tips.

So - went to beach with Rosarie to recover with a coconut stupid bloody water. Sorry Mom, but after turning the air turquoise yesterday, bloody suddenly seems ok. Coconut water my @rse.

Day 5 today. I'm half way through the day. I can eat again in 3 days time. Here come the longest 3 days of my life. Australians! Just think - death penality instead of shipping the convicts, and they wouldn't exist!

I'm going for a swim. I'm hoping to accidentally drown.

*sob*


Goodbye cruel world.