Saturday, 1 March 2008

Stop the Press! Hold the Front Page!

Oh. My. Goodness. If you ask them nicely, they put fresh lemon juice in your McSlurry! And it tastes NICE! I learn this on Day 6?! It's like a cruel joke!

it's 4.30pm err... still on Day 6. One more full day to go, a few more minor excuses to stop me eating first thing on Day 8, and then ...showtime. The novelty of hunger strike has worn off. I'm tired. I almost dozed off on Episode 21 of House a moment ago. Tomorrow will be hard. I've started planning my food for next Monday and Tuesday. In detail.

Today, got up late - well 7.15, not 6.45, had McS. Then lay on my terrace in the sun, while I got a minion (you can take the girl out of South Africa...) to come and open my safe. I don't do low technology. Video recorders, microwaves, hotel safes: bamboozling. So my bank cards have been kept from my sweaty grasp since I arrived. Today, I wielded their mighty power, and it felt GOOD. I went to see a Nepalese tailor, recommended by a lady at the Spa Beach resort. There are lots of tailors, but this woman was dressed immaculately and had jewellery, as we say in my homeland, "to die for, doll", so I trusted her implicitly. I spent about 2 hours with a gentleman named Lambu, at 'Rene Lazard'. Crikey. I wonder how long they spend making up faux-French names, to make their shops sound European? It's bizarre. Anyhoo - paged through tons of book, looked at zillions of fabrics, got measured to within 2.54cm of my life, and settled for 2 suits and 3 shirts. Off for fitting tonight, then another fitting on Monday, then I can collect them on Tuesday before I fly. Yay. New clothes ;) Team at work, practise: "Wow, Kate, nice suit! Love the shirt too!". Once again, with sincerity.

Met some n00bs on the bus to town this morning - 2 English guys. They have been amusing me already. Today is their Day 1 - and bear in mind it was 11am - they kept banging on about how shocked they were to not be hungry. The gave reverential nods to an Irish Bar we passed, apparently they were up late last night, drinking tequila. It's going to be an interesting week for those 2! When I told them that they're allowed coconut water and carrot juice (ugh - no chance), they nearly kissed my feet. Can't wait to see them next Tuesday.

Andrew (previously know as Hot Guy) has decided to extend his fast by 3 more days. He's such a sweetheart - and it was nice to have any qualms I had about his direction settled when I saw him taking Clinique Body Scrub into the steam room. He cremated his legs by falling asleep in the sun on day 1, so he keeps going for aloe vera body wraps. And making us do ankle inspections. Peeling is his bete noire. (Is bete a femimine word in French? Does 'noire' need the 'e'? This, and more pointless thoughts clutter my head 99% of the time. It's such fun being me.)

You know when you drink a little much at night, and the next morning you can't recall precisely how a conversation went? I seem to have that all the time now. I can't decide if it's good or bad, either.

Oh - also Rosarie and I went to the market today. She wanted to buy dried spices for her sister. The smell (eau de putrefaction) was un-be-lievable. I gagged when we got close, then just resorted to breathing through my mouth for the rest of the time. A lot of the meat was crawling with flies, my stomach was doing somersalts. I did make a decision that there's no way in hell I'm coming home vegetarian (I'd rather come home in a silk-lined box), but that really was a near-yozzing experience. Some of the stalls were great - and the takeaway style stuff - satay and curries etc - looked like heaven, but the fish and chicken were just blood-curdling. That memory is going to make sticking to fruit+veg pretty easy for the last 2 days when I can eat.

On a parting note, I should have brought the "No I will not fix your computer" t-shirt on holiday. Tonight - after dinner and before suit fitting - I have been conned, I mean ASKED to fix a vista/outlook problem. On a Vaio laptop. Joy. When people say "I want to use my Outlook database", it makes me instantly suspicious. Nice person though, so I'll see if the old laying-on-of-hands, and rebooting works. Never failed me thus far. I did laugh though - she said "Shall I turn it on, then turn it off again, and see if it works then?". No, dear, it would then be OFF. God bless (l)users, one and all. I miss work. A little. A teensy-little. Ok now not-so-much, when I think about it.

Righty-ho, off to see if Iridology-woman can see me tomorrow. I can't leave hippie-ville without at least one quack having a crack! I've dodged Qi Gung, Cranio-sacral balancing, Reiki, and a tea ceremony. Tea without cake and cucumber sandwiches (sans crust) is just an abomination. Bit sad they don't have past life regression, or shamanic rebirthing charlatans here. I've always thought I'd like to impress my scepticism and apathy on practitioners of those 2 in particular.

Whew. Thumbs killing me.

X

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